Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
