just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
