she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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