my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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