Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
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But break dance skills will only take you so far
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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