Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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