I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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