just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
