it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
