didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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