Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
