He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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