therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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