Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
