Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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