Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
