i think my tv is drunk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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