The maid of honor just puked.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she told me i tasted like america
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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