Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it was like eating out sand paper
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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