idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
