apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
