As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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