I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
