Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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