the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
