So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
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Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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