too bad you live with your parents still
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online