New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.