We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
