She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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