worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
