Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
