yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
