i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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