We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
