Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
