The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
