I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
