Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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