We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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