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I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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