cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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