Your face is a jimmy john
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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