Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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