I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
