Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
