it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The Olympian is in my bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
