is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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