Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize