Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize