There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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