Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
