Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
