I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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