Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
