The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
