I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
