when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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