I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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