I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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