Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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