Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
