my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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