You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
wow bdsm is so cute
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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