Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We need a shit load of segways right now
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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